A Funny Thing Happened On The Way From the Forum (Bad Joke)
Archived from February 5, 2008
Well, so I voted, and then I was walking out all proud of myself for performing my civic duty, and I was just sticking the little "I VOTED!" sticker on my sweatshirt on the walk to the bus stop when suddenly right next to me a man sprang into the parked vehicle of another man, dragged him out into the street, and started beating him over the head with one of those big mag-lite flashlights. It was really sudden and shocking, and blood was sort of spattering down on the sidewalk, and somebody called the police, and meanwhile these two dudes were out in traffic, slamming their bodies against moving vehicles and such while people honked. Then the fight sort of moved back to the sidewalk where I was standing, and I kind of nudged up against the wall and vaguely wondered if I was about to get brained. I scooted over to the side so that some of the action was blocked by a big parked van, and I debated my options. The fight looked kind of intense, and I was thinking if somebody got seriously hurt/killed, I should probably make a statement. At the same time, I had that secret sidling feeling many of us have in those situations--that feeling of "to hell with these people, I want coffee." These two thoughts warred briefly in my head, and then suddenly I heard a man screaming "POLICE OFFICER! GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!" and such. At that point, the guy who had jumped into the car and started the whole hoo-ra in the first place stood up calmly, said "I told you how it'd be, bitch," and then walked away. Everyone pointed at him and gestured, but he just kept going, until he was out of sight. He walked right past me, like literally brushing against my body. I looked into his face, and saw that he was very proud of himself for his display of superior violent strength.
At this point, I should tell you that the dude sitting calmly in the car getting his head split open with a flashlight was black. And the dude doing the head-splitting was white. So of course my first thought is "why is the cop letting the white guy walk away?" I'm sure it's not always generous, but we know certain things about the LAPD with regard to, oh, I don't know....killing black people for no reason, or at least gleefully beating them up as sort of a cocktail party complete with high-fives and laughter. Things of that nature. And all this crossed my mind, and so I decided to walk calmly over and just let the cop know that the real perpetrator was walking away while the cop stayed behind to scream hysterically at the victim, who was sitting calmly on the curb with blood pouring down onto the street from his head.
So up to now, my vision of the officer had been blocked by this van--I could only see the bloody dude sitting there, directly behind the van. I walked over and stepped out from behind the van only to find myself directly in front of a gun pointed at me. "MA'AM GET OUT OF THE WAY! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" the cop yelled. I felt like, wtf?!? I didn't fully process that I was looking literally into the barrel of a handgun. I also felt weirdly calm. The sight of this white dude blocking traffic so he could point a gun at a calmly sitting-down bloody black dude made me suddenly very sick, even though I realize the cop didn't have all the information I had. But that was my point! So I pointed at the retreating jackass who had started it all, and I said, "IT WAS HIM." This seems in retrospect like a vaguely weird thing to say, but that's what came out. The bleeding dude looked up at me and said "thank you," and I said, "I'm sorry," and he said, "it's okay."
I retreated out of the line of fire, at which point an old man started saying gnarly things to me ("well, they were BOTH punching. They were BOTH fighting. He's right to point a gun at that guy because HE might have a gun." (??)), at which point I decided "FUCK YOU, I'M MAKING A STATEMENT."
Then two dudes in gray suits ran up and started saying "FBI! STEP OUT OF THE WAY PLEASE! FBI!" and flashing those big FBI badges around (just like a movie! one can't help but think). Apparently they had been on their way to work when they spotted the ruckus. So they blocked the OTHER direction of traffic and ran over to help. At this point there were three fully-drawn guns pointing directly at this bloody dude, who continued to sit there and bleed. They finally got him safely handcuffed and down on the ground, and then like 5 other LAPD people showed up. Everyone was totally confused, and I kept wanting to go over and SAY something...I mean, this guy you have handcuffed and bleeding on the ground did not do anything that I saw! He was attacked in his own car by this other guy, who you let just walk away!! But obviously I, like all sane people, am terrified of cops, so I didn't want to get them all stressed out and yelling at me to step out of the way please ma'am. Finally a lady came over to take my statement ("Did he say anything?" "Uh, he said, 'Told you how it'd be, bitch." "(writing) told...you....how...it'd....be........bitch?" "Yeah, 'bitch.'"), and I left.
As I was walking to the bus, it suddenly hit me. I HAD A FUCKING GUN POINTED AT ME TODAY. I can honestly say that that has never happened to me before. I can also honestly say that that is COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS. Why were three guns necessary to contain one docile unarmed civilian? I mean, the fight itself was really intense, but as soon as I saw that gun it was like HOLY SHIT, adrenaline and fear and thinking I was going to see somebody's brains on the ground......maybe my own! Apparently! Why were guns necessary in that situation? Here's a question for you: why do police officers in America shoot so many unarmed civilians accidentally? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...............Obviously, because cops DON'T HAVE ENOUGH GUNS.
GUNS. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I was so upset thinking about guns and how in my attempt to aid a fellow citizen I inadvertently had a gun pointed at me. And how that guy, calmly driving some girl to work, ended up having THREE guns pointed at him. Even though they will undoubtedly release him and be like, "we'll let you know when we pick up that other guy," and he's going to go about his day essentially unharmed, I ask you, is that acceptable?
I love that I have lived in Los Angeles for 3 years, have been downtown in the country's biggest skid row in the wee hours of the morning many times, have been in so-called "bad" parts of town running around drunk and helpless, or riding the train alone through Compton or whatever, but the only time in my life I have even SEEN a gun in public, OR been afraid of one, they were ALL in the hands of the law.
Anyway, that's the story of how I voted in the primary today!
Previous Entry: Pages From A Virgin's Diary | Next Entry: Love
