1000 Beers

JB: It's a special edition.
MM: It's true, birthday edition!
JR: And special G-rad guest edition.
GW: Goodbye edition.
MM: And it's Calvin's first 1000 beers! And Josh's last.
JB: I'm passing the torch.
MM: Okay, which one's first?
JB: The small one.
MM: Founders Brewing.
JB: WIth an apostrophe?
MM: No, but it seems like there is a capital S.
JB: That is just for symmetry.
JR: We have found that bad graphic design does not indicate a bad beer.
SS: It's usually better!
MM: It claims to have started in 1997.
JB: What's the actual beer name and type?

95/1000:
MM: Dirty Bastard. Scotch-style Ale. George, do you want to say anything about this beer?
GW: This is from a brewery that's a 10-minute walk from my house. This beer has been on a train, unrefrigerated, for several days. It is not my favorite of this brewery's beer. But it is their flagship beer. And Curt has rated it quite highly before.
CM: After Mike and I did our blogging tour, I hosted a beer tasting, and this was the highest rated. But Mike did not get to try it.
GW: I don't know why I didn't think, of this, but I could have brought a mix-n-match six-pack.
JB: Let's taste.
GW: What are we supposed to say?
JB: There are no rules.
MM: I wonder if the fact that I'm drinking it out of a coffee cup is influencing how I feel about this beer.
JR: You like coffee, so you might like it more.
CM: It's dark, but not bitter, and kind of sweet.
GW: They make a "Kentucky Breakfast Stout" beer... They have a maple-aged beer, they have beers aged in bourbon barrels. They are experimenting a lot right now. Their barrel-aged beers are stored underground in gypsum mines.

JR: I thought you said "Egyptian mines" and I thought you were so full of shit.
GW: Gypsum. They make walls and gum out of it. It's a mineral. Michigan is right above a swirling vortex of gypsum.
MM: This kind of reminds me of the Session Black. Dark, but drinkable.
GW: These are notorious for hangovers. Monday night, everything's half-off. So there are a lot of Tuesday hangovers in Grand Rapids. Do you have any questions you'd like me to field?
MM: When was the first time you drank beer?
GW: Actually, I don't know. I don't remember anything! My dad was an amateur brewer, so I think I accidentally drank it when I was a kid.
SS: Your dad was an amateur brewer before it was cool?
GW: He's basically a chemist. He stopped now, but he was interested in doing it, because he liked to make something that wasn't at work.
SS: What beers of Founders do you not enjoy?
GW: This isn't an everyday beer for me. I usually get whatever's on tap and I haven't tried before. They have a new one called "DEATH" that I want to try when I get back. They had a raspberry beer called "Rübæus" that they had to stop making when raspberry prices went up. Raspberries aren't grown much in Michigan, but cherries are, so they're switching to cherries for their fruit beers. I like their Centennial IPA a lot.
MM: When I went to the Full Sail brewery, they had about 10 beers, total.
GW: Yeah, these guys have like 20. And they're changing all the time. They had all these spiced Christmas beers last winter. They had one called Spice Rack that tasted ... like a spice rack.

96/1000: Full Sail Top Sail Imperial Porter

JB: I'll point out that this was a very hot, limited release, where the beer stores had to have limits on how many bottles people could buy, they'd announce it on their blogs... It was kind of a big deal.
MM: It looks like motor oil as it pours.
GW: It's definitely barrel-aged. But there's not a lot of taste to it.
MM: The aftertaste disappears... once you taste it, it's gone.
GW: Smelling it, I expected it to be really strong, but once I had it in my mouth, there wasn't as much to it.
SS: It smells like a wafer cookie. Or a Necco wafer.
JB: It's chalky.
GW: It certainly smells the part.
JB: I guess I didn't have the same expectation that it would be super-flavorful, but I'm sidetracked by the smell. It smells amazing!
MM: This is a sharing bottle.

JR: It's part of the problem with it, that you can't just sit down and drink it with two people.
SS: I could just sit down and knock this back.
GW: I'm not let down, but I'm surprised and a little confused that this isn't more flavorful.
JB: You thought it would be, like, challening.
GW: Exactly. I'm used to cringing a little after having a bourbon-aged beer.
[Mike pours his beer into a brandy snifter.]
JB: It's going to taste so much better like that.
MM: It is! It is much better. Lesson one: Mugs are better for beer.
GW: I don't agree. I think you should drink darker beers, and bourbon beers out of these.
MM: But not Budweiser.
GW: No, just the ones that rely a lot on smell.

94/1000: Russian River Consecration

JB: What are we drinking?
MM: Russian River Consecration.
JB: One of the rotating taps here?
MM: And they wouldn't give me a pint, only 8 ounces of it.
JB: So it's potent stuff. What drew you to it?
MM: I ran into Mike from the beer store. He asked me if I liked sour beers, and I said yes. And he recommended it highly.
JB: They're pretty out of the mainstream, and you really do like them. So I guess we know, to some degree, what to expect here.
MM: Go ahead and try it.
JB: It doesn't give anything up in its smell but then you drink it and it's sour and chewy. It really shocked my palate.
MM: It's such an unusual flavor for beer, and it's only because of that tasting at Belmont Station that I know that I like them.
JB: At that tasting, I got the impression you would drink sour beers all the time, if they were available.
MM: I think I would.



JB: But what place do they hold in the beverage world for you?
MM: Well, it's kind of like wine.
JB: I see that point, actually. It's not something you knock back. So how's it different from other sour beers?
MM: It's been so long since I've had one, that I don't really know.
JB: There's a maltiness to it, which surprised me. And caramel.
MM: And like, a grape. Artificial grape flavor. I feel like I would get a purple moustache off it.
JB: It's so sticky. You get a thin version of it on the roof of your mouth.
MM: It makes sense that they don't give you a pint of this. I wouldn't want a pint of wine, either.
JB: How much was this?
MM: I think it was six dollars. About comparable to a glass of wine.
JB: I'm interested in fancy beers replacing wine in a restaurant setting. You really don't see that. But it's clearly possible. There's enough variety, specialization, and quality in beers.

95/1000: Amnesia Sleigh-Jerker Winter Warmer

MM: What does it have to sound so porno?
JB: I can't even say it.



MM: So what kind of beer is this? I thought it was going to be more like a porter.
JB: Usually those winter beers are a little sweeter... Dopplebocks, that kind of thing.
MM: Maltier, as opposed to hoppier?
JB: They're never very hoppy.
MM: Well, this sleigh-jerker is certainly quaffable.
JB: It's so smooth, I'm not entirely sure I'm drinking it. It does have some aftertaste that reminds me that I just drank something. But that's probably cause it's kind of sticky.

[Note: The laptop's battery went dead at this point, so we were forced to enjoy the remainder of the beer without commentary. We hope that despite our technical difficulty, we still managed to convey some key aspects of the experience of drinking this beer.]

We drank this too fast to get a picture...

92/1000: HUB Cascadian Dark

JB: I love this! And our fries just came!
MM: It's very hoppy.
JB: Is it?
MM: Isn't it?
JB: It is hoppy, but no way would I say very hoppy. Hoppy for a dark beer, too. But that's what makes it work well, that it's not a bitter, thin, beer. It's mild and round for being hoppy.
MM: It has that stickiness that a hoppy beer has.
JB: I think we usually call it resiny. I don't want to obsess about whether it's hoppy. I think it has so many other great things going on that I'd rather talk about.
MM: What's a dark beer that's like this?
JB: I've been drinking light-colored beers all summer. I don't even remember.
MM: I think if I blind-tasted this, I would assume it was a much brighter color.
JB: I'm going to close my eyes and drink it. [drinks] I might think red.
MM: Oh, yeah. There's that iron flavor in there. Have you been over there, to HUB?
JB: Yeah, I kind of hate it.
MM: Bad bike parking, huh?
JB: It was a while ago, maybe they fixed that. But they have that big "bike art" thing over the bar, and then shitty bike parking? And they're on Powell?
MM: Don't hype it as bikey?
JB: And they have bad pizza.
MM: I was surprised they weren't more like Green Dragon, from what I'd read about them being hard core beer nerds.
JB: Despite having nearly no bike parking, this place feels very bike-friendly. All that aside...
MM: They make good beer.
JB: I haven't been 100% blown away, but a few have been rock star. This among them.
MM: But I think we should have done these in the opposite order.

93/1000: Oskar Blues Scottish

MM: This is sweet. Especially after the HUB. It's nothing like that beer, except in color.
JB: I think of this as late fall.
MM: I was thinking winter beer, but you want it at this not-too-cold temperature...
JB: Winter is heavier for me. This is a middleweight. Sweet is right, though.
MM: It has an oiliness, like a porter.
JB: Fades against my Caesar salad, though. I can hardly taste it. I'm not sure I'd return to this. I'm trying to picture when I'd serve it. Maybe for a lady? On a cold fall day?
MM: That's the picture that I'm getting. You're inside, and it's nice, and it's cold and miserable outside. And you don't want tea or a hot chocolate.
JB: I don't mean to bring the sexism here, but broadly based on my experience with taste, beer, and gender...
MM: Have we done an Oskar Blues before?
JB: They do cans. We've had Dale's Pale. Oh, and we had Gordon, and we kind of hated it. Gold medal, 2008 World Beer Championships.
MM: I'd be surprised if this won any awards. Not that it's bad! But I think those competitions reward very remarkable beers. This beer seems like one that will quickly fade from our memories.

90/1000: Terminal Gravity ESG

JB: Mike, we've been drinking this all summer.
MM: We were going to call it the "official beer of the summer."
JB: Can we even do that any more? It's too late.
MM: Steve has been calling it that.
Jona: Our summer is going to run into October.
JB: So, let's do it. Beer of the summer.
Jona: I haven't had it all summer, but I've had it before.
JB: I don't want to claim that I "discovered" this beer, but I discovered this beer when I went out to Wallowa County in June. Everyone has it on tap out there.
Jona: I tend to buy beer based on its graphic design.
MM: Would this one pass?
Jona: No, it looks like a baseball team.
MM: It should be called "ASG" for "Awesome Summer Golden." Then it wouldn't get confused with ESB.
JB: Why do you like this beer?
MM: I like that you can drink a lot of it. It doesn't come on too strong, it's not bitter, but it still has a distinct and good flavor.
JB: That's the whole story. It's really drinkable, but it's not thin. Instead, it's delicious.

91/1000: Full Sail Session Black

MM: It's a premium dark lager.
JB: Like Negra Modelo? I don't even know what that is.
MM: It tastes like barbecue.
JB: Like barbecue sauce.
Jona: I just ate some barbecue sauce, so I couldn't really tell.
JB: You know how barbecue sauces have chocolate or coffee in them? This has that same vibe.
MM: Wasn't the original Session supposed to be a limited-time thing?
JB: Yeah, but it was really popular, and they kept doing it. So, do you think this is a "Session"?
MM: No, not really. It's not thick and chewy like a porter, even though it's dark.
JB: I wouldn't want to drink, like four of these.
MM: That seems like a problem, since it's called Session. Good, but not great.
JB: I won't get this instead of a 12 of Sessions. Those are so perfect.

--

MM: Can we do a little aside?
JB: ...
MM: I'm sorry about all the wine I've been drinking. I sometimes feel that it's better than beer.
Jona: It's better.
JB: Mike, why are you drinking wine?
MM: I don't think one should have to defend one's love of a fine beverage.

--

92/1000: Hell or High Watermelon Wheat Beer

JB: I hate a lot about this before we start drinking it.
MM: It's from the Twenty-first Amendment Brewery.
JB: Watermelon? Is it supposed to taste like watermelon?
MM: "Wheat beer, fermented with watermelon, with added watermelon juice."
Jona: That sounds good.
JB: I ...
Jona: You're grossed out by it.
JB: Mike, why did you give me such a big one?
MM: You're really going to like it.
JB: The watermelon isn't overpowering. It's way back there, it's the watermelon flavor of Jolly Rancher, but none of the sweetness.
MM: It's a true watermelon taste, not artificial.
JB: Really?
MM: But I see what you mean by Jolly Rancher. But really none of the sweetness.
JB: It's mostly aftertaste. It's normal until it's out of your mouth.
MM: I really like this.
Jona: Me too!
MM: It's a weird beer that tastes good.
JB: So, you'd get it again?
MM: Yeah! I bought this six-pack and was excited to share it with you.
JB: What's it for? I don't understand!
MM: Mike, the guy at the beer store, said he likes it, but just one at a time.
JB: As I continue to drink this, the aftertaste seems to ramp up, and get more badder.
Jona: It's like sangria or something.
Mike: If you had to Netflix-star rate this, what would you give it?
JB: One or two. I haven't decided.
Jona: "Hate it"?
Mike: It's still beer.
JB: Yeah, but remember that Pandan beer? That was bad. You know, it's not even just the flavor. It's a lack of comprehension. I don't understand why.

[An Xbox 360 is on in front of the drinkers.]
Jona: Mike, let's play.
Mike: We have to drink beer.
Jona: I am drinking beer. I like it!

88/1000: Ninkasi Spring Reign Ale

Josh: This a spring seasonal? I always think it's going to be a brewery's excuse to brew a light beer. But this is far more flavorful. What do you think, can you taste it?
Mike: I can taste more of it than I could yesterday. It's bright.
Josh: It's hoppy, it's bitter. That's what I'm more surprised about.
Mike: I think I'm missing the hoppiness. I can't taste it.
Josh: I wonder if there are specific beers designed for you to drink while you're sick.
Mike: They should make a beer with a decongestant in it.
Josh: Then they would be regulated by yet another agency.
Mike: Doctors could prescribe it.
Josh: I don't think I'd go around suggesting this to people expecting a spring beer. I like it --
Mike: You don't think it's a session beer?
Josh: I get why they think of it as a spring beer, but it's going against expectations. It's refreshing, but it's also more intense than what you'd usually get in spring.

89/1000: Bear Republic XP Pale Ale

Josh: Did you like the Bear Republic 95 Pale Ale?
Mike: I liked the Me edition.
Josh: Bear Republic CE, anyone?
Mike: Then you could take it with you.
Jona: I like it. It's very good. The aftertaste isn't annoying, like a lot of beers. It's fizzier than the other beer, too.
Josh: It doesn't have hardly any aftertaste. It's got a round toasty flavor. More malt, really. I'd also say, not pale. In color or flavor.
Mike: It does say "Golden colored ale."
Josh: They're trying to reinterpret, then.
Mike: [reading the bottle] They also want us to come visit them.
Josh: I'd be happy to.

J: Let's start it up.
M [tastes]: This is so boring.
J: What is it?

85/1000: Schneider's Wiesen Edel-weisse

M: Nothing I say matters in this entire blog post, because I'm so stuffed up from allergies.
J: I will definitively rule upon this beer, then.
M: I want to compare this to Hamm's. Just to see how dead my senses are.
J [tasting]: Mmm! You can't smell? This has a strong and remarkable smell.
M: I can't smell anything at all!
J: It's herbal. It's a got a piney taste, and a woody bitterness that lingers. You're getting none of that?
M: It's ... cold. And wet.
J: You're in no state to be doing this. Do you have a prescription?
M: No.
J: You need to go to the doctor. Have you ever heard of Allegra?
M: I tried Claritin. It doesn't work.
J: I've never seen this beer in a bar before, but it has enough flavor, for someone whose taste buds are working, that I would seek it out.
M: I would say that I'm enjoying it.
J: But that doesn't mean anything.

86/1000: Bridgeport's Fallen Friar

J: It's a Belgian-style Tripel. I just tasted it, and I'd say it's true to its type. But that's a bland thing to say. How does it taste to you?
M: Oh, it's different from the other.
J: I'm just impressed you can tell.
M: I'm really interested in what you have to say about this.
J: Very straight Belgian trippel, really. Citrusy, wheaty...
M: I wonder if the citrusy is what's getting through. I wouldn't have said that but I can perceive pungence, and something gets through. It's an interesting way to "taste" beer.
J: I would say if this is cheaper, or more available, you should get this instead of an actual Belgian. It's straight-up and solid. If it's not, get a Belgian. Unless you're all about stimulating the local markets in these challenging economic times.

87/1000: Laguntias "Undercover Shutdown" Double IPA

M: What do you think of this?
J: I think it's dark. I haven't tasted it yet. But, dark for an IPA.
M: Doesn't smell like anything. But I couldn't get air through my nose. Oh, it's sharp like a knife. God, I wish I coud taste it! It's so weird to be able to feel it and not taste it!
J: The high alcohol, you could probably detect that. It's like, a vapor effect, not a taste. Can you?
M: Yeah, I think so.
J: Beyond that, it's like a milder version of the 120 Minute IPA.
M: I think that if I could taste it, I wouldn't like it as much as I do now.
J: I like it more than the 120 Minute. It's actually drinkable. But I need to say something more substantive about this.
M: I'm sorry to lay it all on you. I could talk about the carbonation comapred to the last one. If that's helpful.
J: No.
M: This is the only one that leaves me with an aftertaste.
J: Can you taste that?
M: Well, an aftersense.
J: I'll tell you, I don't know when you'd drink this beer. Like, for a special tasting. For to experience something new. But I think they just made it because it's sort of a prestige category of beer. But there are very few people who actually want to drink it. This is where we and the deep beer nerds differ. They celebrate this.

(84/1000)

82/1000: Allagash Tripel Reserve Belgian Style

JB: I can't help but think that this is Portland, Maine horning in on Portland, Oregon territory.
CB: Is there a rivalry between the two?
JB: No, because we are so much better than them.
MM: We think it's probably more them being jealous of us.
CB: So there is! This is great.
MM: "Pour slowly into wide-mouthed glass."
JB: No, more slowly!
MM: You can't control it. It's gravity. It says to toast to a special occasion. How about to the bad weather of New York, without which Caleb would have returned home by now?
JB: This is a Belgian trippel. I've had a lot of those.
MM: It's good, it tastes like it's supposd to.
JB: It's less sweet and more bitter than a trippel usually is, though.
CB: I thought it was going to be a lot more sweet.
JB: I think if I'm buying an east coast trippel, the Ommegang stuff is better. You know, the Chimay wannabe.
CB: This is actually pretty easy to drink. I wasn't expecting it to be. I expected it to be kind of gross.
MM: Me, too. And the label is so bad!
CB: It says that it's appropriate as an apertif, and that makes me think it's going ot be really sickly sweet.
JB: Is there a beer they'd refer to as a digestif?
MM: I want to find that one. So, with the packaging, there's not actually a picture of a witch on it, but it seems like there would be. And that's a problem.
JB: Classic beer label fiasco.
MM: Do you think it's easy to make this kind of beer?
CB: I don't know how to make any kind of beer.
MM: But I mean this isn't distinctive in any way, maybe they're just using the "Tripel" recipe that's kind of standard.
JB: Could be. Let's move onto our next beer.

83/1000: Gordon Ale, Oskar Blues Brewery, Lyons, Colorado

CB: I'm excited for this, cause it's in a can.
JB: We love the can.
CB: It's very in vogue to drink from a can, which is fine with me.
MM: In some ways, I prefer it. I like a can of beer.
JB: But what the hell is the deal with this beer? You got a four-pack of cans for ten bucks?
MM: Ten-fifty.
JB: And it doesn't really say what kind of beer it is.
MM: They make other canned beers that come in a six-pack, so this is weird.
JB: They say "If you knew Gordon Knight, this ale needs no explanation. If you didn't, we're sorry." What is that supposed to mean?
MM: Is he a Nike guy?
JB: I don't think he's a Nike guy. But I'm left needing their explanation, and with their apologies.
MM: So, let's drink, then look it up.
CB: It's not as strong as I thought it would be.
JB: It reminds me of something from Dogfish Head. Maybe because it has that fresh-hoppy thing that they like to do.
MM: These are both high-alcohol. This one is 8.7% and the Tripel was 9%.
CB: Those high-alcohol beers will fuck you up. Normally, you go and have three or four beers. And three or four of these would fuck you up.
MM: So what's the deal with Gordon Knight?
JB: I almost don't want to know. Like, who cares about your faux mythology. But I'll look him up. Realbeer.com is the first hit. They say he died in 2002 after a helicopter crash while fighting a forest fire.
CB: So he was just a dude?
MM: Not even a beer dude, just a dude.
JB: Uh, no. He did beer things.
MM: He's a time traveler. He went back in time and invented beer.
JB: He was winning beer awards in the early nineties and hopping from brewery to brewery. Basically, he was a really good beermaker. But he didn't make this beer. It is simply a tribute to him. I wonder if he would be pleased with it.
MM: Has this beer won any gold medals?
JB: No.
MM: I would have to say, then, that he wouldn't. But this is good.
CB: I like it. I don't think it has to be in a can.
MM: But it's designed for camping. It says "pack it in, pack it out."
JB: Okay, I went and did some research just now. It has, in fact, won several medals.
MM: Gold?
JB: Gold, Bronze, Beer of the Year, and others.
MM: Then it truly is a tribute to Gordon Knight. We should toast him with the remainder of the Allegash Tripel Reserve. Because it's good for toasting.
JB: And this one isn't.
CB: No, we shouldn't even be drinking this out of glasses.

JB: "Kelpie"?
MM: It's brewed with kelp. At least they're not hiding it. Let's crack it open.
JB: No, it might have a strong flavor. Let's start with the weak beer.

80/1000: Iron City Beer, Pittsburgh Brewing Company

MM: We're having this because they won the Super Bowl. [toasting] To the Steelers!
JB: How much of this got drunk last Sunday?
MM: Oh, man. It was on special at Bridgetown Beerhouse.
JB: I meant in Pittsburgh.
MM: And all over the world!
JB: I'm not sure how well it's distributed. I mean, in the last couple of years...
MM: It's popped up as a competitor to Pabst. Pabst got too cool. It's not a sweet as Pabst, which is nice.
JB: On the other hand, it hasn't won a blue ribbon. This beer, it just goes right through. It's totally inoffensive.
MM: I really like it when it's really cold, but by the end of your first pint, after it has warmed, it's just good enough. If it sits out a bit, it can be sort of rank. But other than the Super Bowl, when does one drink Iron City beer?
JB: When you play softball in the park. Take cans of it rafting.
MM: Why wouldn't you just take Caldera?
JB: You don't always want a strong beer, you want a drinking beer. It's a summer thing. Or if you're trying to drink for cheap. I bet you can just about always get someone to buy you an Iron City. Maybe not a microbrew, but someone will spot you an Iron City.

81/1000: Kelpie Seaweed Ale, Heather Ale, Scotland

JB: Kelp in my beer, that's what it was missing. That's what's been wrong with beer all these years.
MM: You probably didn't know that prior to the 1850's, there were many Scottish Ale houses ...
JB: I can't write all this, it's boring. Get to the kelp part.
MM: ...The fields were fertilized with seaweed, which flavored the barley.
JB: That's kind of cool, actually.
MM: But they're not doing that. They're re-creating this effect by including fresh seaweed in the mash tun.
JB: Well, that's not the same at all.
MM: Seaweed, they call this kind "bladder rack", taken fresh from the water on the coast, is mashed in with the malted and roasted barley.
JB: But you could mash anything in there.
MM: You're looking for a rich chocolate ale, which has an aroma of fresh sea breeze, and a distinctive malty texture.
JB: Thanks for all the expository reading. I find myself highly skeptical.
MM: Do you want me to tell you the ingredients?
JB: I don't.
MM: They are as you might expect. Though they don't mention it being "bladder rack" in the ingredients. I'm excited about the sea breeze aroma.
JB: Let's try it. Do you get a sea breeze aroma?
MM: No, it just smells like beer.
JB: It just tastes like beer, too. A dark beer.
MM: I think we got a bad batch.
JB: By "bad" you mean not tasting like the sea?
MM: I can't detect even a hint of bladder rack.
JB: Scotland has produced better than this.
MM: Name names, give me three.
JB: 1) Clynelish Scotch, 2) Groundskeeper Willie, 3) Plaid. All easily better than this.
MM: It's a good idea, though! Picture the Scots out brewing their beer, and they notice there's a lot of water around. They used that to make their distinctive brew. It's like the Douglas Fir brandy that's made here in Oregon.
JB: Which is terrible!
MM: But it's a good idea.
JB: Idea, solid. Execution, uninspired.
MM: I would be happier with this if it tasted worse, and I could taste the seaweed.
JB: I don't know why they didn't do it the cool way they described. Fertilizing it with seaweed.
MM: They don't need to, they have artificial fertilizers.
JB: They shouldn't tell me about it, then. I didn't know about that. They set themselves up and then knocked themselves down. I wouldn't buy this again.
MM: I wouldn't either.
JB: Maybe if there was an ocean-themed party.
MM: You might buy it based on the label, yeah. If you knew someone who collected seaweed or seaweed-related items, you might buy it for them.
JB: The novelty does not buy it many points in my book. It's just a novelty name, in fact, since it doesn't even come through in the flavor.

JB: More and more of these are going to be located at "Mike's House" now that the beer store is next door.
MM: We'll do some in different rooms, and then we can label them differently.
JB: Okay, what are we drinking?

78/1000: Lagunitas Pils, Petaluma, California

MM: I really like the "net contents" of this beer, which I assume is like the ingredients. Twelve fluid ounces of malt, hops, yeast, and water.
JB: Nothing that doesn't belong.
MM: Right, it's kind of what you want in there. Do they do that on other beers? Hmm, we'll get to that, I guess.
JB: Well, we got this because we had kolsch earlier in the day, but the beer store didn't have any for us to blog, because it's really not the season for kolsch. This does the trick, though.
MM: It's more of that Euro-style "crappy" beer. Like it has something in common with Heineken. It's not as bad as Heineken, but it belongs to the same genre. It's funny to me that no one does a micro-brew in the style of Corona, for instance. Being in Germany recently, I had some pretty bad beer, that felt related to this.
JB: But you like this, yeah?
MM: I'm glad I got the whole six-pack of it, I'll enjoy it. Sometimes I feel that the fact that I prefer a kolsch, or this Czech-style pilsner, means I'm sort of a beer baby.
JB: Well it's not about toughing out beers you don't like, it's about finding what you like.
MM: But you should eventually find yourself enjoying beers that you didn't enjoy when you started.
JB: We're only at 78.
MM: I've been drinking beers since 1998, though. When did you start?
JB: Just about the same time. I didn't like most beers when I was a college kid.
MM: I could drink when I was 19, because I was in Germany, but I didn't like beer when I was there.
JB: Let's talk about this beer. It's more bitter, less fruity, and heavier than the kolsch we had earlier.
MM: But I would never describe it as bitter.
JB: Because this is a pilsner, I expected it to be even lighter. I'm glad it's not. I didn't want a Budweiser.
MM: Budweiser is what ruins the name "pilsner."

79/1000 Laughing Buddha Pandan Brown Ale, Seattle, Washington

JB: Of all the Pandan beers I've had, this is my favorite.
MM: It says it has the aroma of "pandan leaf" and a "palm sugar" finish. We were talking about the net contents of the Lagunitas... This one says "malt beverage with pandan leaf added."
JB: That doesn't really clarify it for me.
MM: I want to point out how incredibly pleased I am that their logo, while being a Buddha, does not show the smiling face or giant belly of the traditional Buddha. With the name of "Laughing Buddha," you would expect the logo to be so ugly.
JB: They were pretty restrained and graphic.
MM: They're trying to be kind of classy, with their mildly Asian font.
JB: Now, you've had this before.
MM: I drank it with Thai food, and then with The Biggest Loser. Great television program.
JB: You were telling me it went better with the Thai food.
MM: Drinking it alone -- well, not alone, with the Biggest Loser, and Willow -- it was kind of overpowering.
[tasting]
MM: It tastes more like a porter than a brown ale. It has the earthiness --
JB: I don't agree. It has the thinness of a brown ale, versus the thickness of a porter.
MM: You can smell that pandan leaf.
JB: You really can. You can tell it's not beer, but I couldn't identify that. It's musty.
MM: It's tobacco-y. It reminds me of the cigar I smoked last night. It might be good with a cigar, really.
JB: I'm bored by this beer.
MM: It's not different enough to be interesting and it's not good enough to justify its existence?
JB: Yeah, that's not far from the truth. I could sit around and drink it. And I see it being perfect with certain foods.
MM: Like Thai.
JB: I don't know, I don't like Thai.
MM: You don't like Thai, or you don't like Portland Thai?
JB: No, I love Thai food. I just don't ever want it here.
MM: Because you think all of Portland Thai food is bad.
JB: Yeah, it's bad... it's generic, really. It doesn't vary from place to place, and it must be really cheap to make. I think they sprout up all over the place because everyone goes for Thai, and they make bank on it. It's a scam. It's equivalent to fast food. This discussion is about Thai food now.
MM: I drank it with Thai before, it's my fault. We didn't try to match up the Asian-style font with the food when we had it.
JB: You're color-blind, you're saying.
MM: I don't see race.
JB: We've had a hard time staying on the topic. Maybe my "bored" comment before means something. We haven't found the beer interesting enough to talk about.
MM: But I can smell that pandan leaf.